Excuses, Excuses
Stop making up excuses and just get started!
Is there ever a good time to start living a healthy lifestyle? If it's not one thing, it's another. Removing the "restrictive" mentality so one can move forward in developing healthy eating and living habits can cause "analysis paralysis". There's always someone's wedding, family reunion, or vacation where "I can't eat the food they serve" or "people are going to ask what's wrong with me if I'm not drinking". These are legitimate concerns to be sure, but not insurmountable. For me as a Health Coach, the most disheartening excuse is that a partner or spouse won't be supportive.
As clients enter my programs for either Whole30 and my Health Coaching practice, much of the resistance I hear from potential clients is that their spouse doesn't get it, or their partner thinks it's torture. Or better yet, if someone in a new relationship, perhaps navigating the "getting to know you" waters, they may not want the added dynamic of including their new paleo lifestyle, intermittent fasting or abstaining from drinking. But does it really throw a wrench into the relationship?
Recently Melissa Urban, founder of Whole30, collaborated with another author on the subject of support. It resonated with me, and I'm sharing some of the thoughts here. Making a commitment to your health is a priority you set for yourself. No one else needs to be involved in this personal decision. Despite this, having the approval of your partner is an important aspect of support. But what if you don't get it? Or your partner is reluctant to your new endeavors? Can you still succeed?
In most cases, it's not about the healthy changes at all, it's about your partner's insecurity. Do they feel that you're "above" them because your rising to this new challenge? If it's not affecting a religious or core belief, then why wouldn't they support you? So many times I hear of partners and spouses offering wine, or bringing home ice cream. Is it sabotage? Is it too much to ask that those "off the list' foods and drinks be kept in a place that's out of sight? Just for a short period of time, until you get your habits solidified, until those types of foods are no longer triggers for you. Make it about being considerate towards each other, instead of about the foods. Take the lead and make suggestions for where they can store such items foods until you gain the control you desire.
Many times partners may be open to making positive changes together, but find themselves enabling each other's old, unhealthy habits. It's then best to agree to hold each other accountable and put a plan in place. If the relationship is new, isn't that the best time to introduce your new partner to your healthy lifestyle? It sets the parameters from the beginning. If they don't like what you're doing, is it worth investing time in the relationship at all? When you can build something together it adds another dimension to the relationship.
There's a fine line between resentment and empowerment. When you're making a true effort to improve your health, you don't need the push-back from your closest people. This is challenging enough on its own. Building allies who support your efforts is an important aspect, but it's certainly not the deciding factor as to whether you get healthy or not. Getting to healthy is an independent effort. Stop creating excuses or blaming others. What you do for you is ultimately up to you.
Finally, if getting the support you need is a challenge in itself, consider a Health Coach. I received my training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, where I learned about more than one hundred dietary theories and studied a variety of practical lifestyle coaching methods. Drawing on this knowledge, I will help you create a completely personalized “roadmap to health” that suits your unique body, preferences and goals. And I help you navigate the "lifestyle" factors that sometimes get in the way, to our own detriment. Maybe this can be a great opportunity for both you and your partner to help support each other and grow together, or perhaps I can give you the support you can't find elsewhere.
