An open letter to my chef colleagues

A few days ago a very dear chef/friend posted on social media a photo of an order ticket at his restaurant. It consisted of three orders, each of them making what he considered to be outrageous menu substitutions while the restaurant was at its busiest. “No bun”, “no egg”, “no cheese”. One comment from a follower asked “what did they get, a pile of ground meat?” All of the other chefs on the post were outraged. Understandably. Yet I remain firmly on the fence, and of course, have an opinion.

As a chef and culinarian, I completely understand why chefs are upset when a patron makes changes to a dish that was so thoughtfully and meticulously created and executed. People can be cold, critical, and downright dismissive when it comes to the way a plate is put together. I know because I’ve been on the receiving end. It hurts when you spend time and effort creating something amazing, only to see it torn apart by someone who requests extra ketchup with every meal. And yes, we chefs can be pretty condescending and unforgiving towards patrons who don’t appreciate our efforts.

That being said, I’ve spent the last six years making healthier, more nutritions choices with my meals, both at home and when dining out. I have eliminated gut-busting food groups as a means to rein in several chronic autoimmune disorders, and it's working. Despite it all, I remain forevermore, a foodie. It’s a fine line. I am still adventurous and want to try new things, then I remember how some foods will wreak havoc on my system for weeks, so I restrain myself, and it's sometimes sad. I live vicariously through Stanley Tucci as he Searches for Italy every Sunday night on CNN. 

One way to ensure I can order thoughtfully, before I go to a restaurant, I scan the menu online for any dishes with potential. Meats, fish, fruits and vegetables should leave a lot of options, wouldn’t you think? Alas, chefs must dump butter, heavy cream, cheese, glutenous bread crumbs and other non-negotiables on every dish. Come on. I should be able to enjoy the dining experience and get what I want, right?

I make it a rule to not make more than two changes per dish, including “dressing on the side”.  (Example, no croutons and dressing on the side, please.) I have enough respect for the chef to not obliterate their menu and still get what I want to enjoy safely. And - I embolden clients to do the same. When one initiates healthy lifestyle changes, they may be intimidated to eat out. They’re afraid of being tempted by something on the menu that’s now “off limits”. They fear being browbeaten by a server when they ask for substitutions. And they’re disappointed when they think the only way to stay in their lane is by staying home and cooking every meal. It may work for some people, but enjoying a healthier lifestyle and still wanting to dine out with friends is also non-negotiable for me, and I encourage my clients to get out, even during a pandemic. (Florida offers lots of outdoor dining, to our advantage.)

So I read the post from my chef friend with some dismay. Our industry is called “hospitality” for a reason. We aim to provide our patrons with a top-notch dining experience and a creative menu. Yet, in order for restaurants to keep the doors open, they must be hospitable and accommodating. I understand what it’s like to be in the kitchen in the middle of a rush and get a ticket with a bazillion substitutions. I do. I also know that those “picky” people (like me) might return if their requests can be happily accommodated. I’d like to skip the glutenous biscuits and mashed potatoes laden with heavy cream and butter, and have steamed vegetables on the side. Is that too much to ask? 

As a patron, I’m suggesting to my fellow diners that you’re sensitive to the creativity of the chef and respect their culinary efforts. I’m requesting, as a chef, that we consider our patrons are going to have special needs, and as upholders of hospitality, we hospitably oblige.