Spring Cleaning and Stuff
My kitchen in the Cleveland suburb of University Heights, circa 1999.
When we were first married, we moved three times within the first 6 years. My mom used to tell people that I would rather move than spring clean. I never appreciated the concept of “spring cleaning”. But my mom was an expert. She would wash down the kitchen cabinets with Murphy Oil Soap, scrub the wax build-up off the linoleum floors with straight ammonia, then re-wax. Clean the carpets and drapes. Sometimes repaint rooms, definitely wash walls. (I know!) The house smelled fresh from top to bottom. She did not collect knick-knacks, she would say it was too much to dust. She didn’t appreciate “antiquing”. Useless collectibles. She was not sentimental about things. If she grew tired of something, she got rid of it.
My dad, on the other hand, is a borderline hoarder. He had cabinets in the basement filled with years-worth of old Golf Digest magazines. When they relocated to Florida, I filled boxes with the old magazines and took them to a dumpster behind a grocery store. He was heartbroken. A few years ago, when my dad moved into senior living, I had the dubious fortune of cleaning out the house where he and my mom had lived for 10 years, and Dad had been alone for the last 5 years. The closets full of clothing, shelves of record albums, he’s a sentimental guy and puts a lot of emotional value into things that others might not consider valuable. So I walked the fine line of dumping things I didn’t value or had no use for, and breaking his heart, again, in the process.
So what is it about stuff? And why can’t we get rid of it? Spring is a time of awakening, emerging from winter darkness. We want our homes to be bright and fresh. We de-clutter, clean and organize. Or do we? I am somewhere between OCD about most things, and not having the time to dig in and doing a thorough job, the way my mom used to. Why do we step over piles of shoes and old mail? Does it become too overwhelming to tackle? Is it too much to take the time to manage it before it becomes insurmountable?
I watched Maria Kondo and those women who organize celebrity closets and garages. They don’t have any emotional attachment to other people’s stuff, so they make it look easy. But when you’re doing it yourself, there is an emotional component to de-cluttering. If we value relationships, we sometimes hesitate to get rid of gifts given to us by loved ones. It feels disloyal. We can’t trade in grandma’s old jewelry, even though we’d never wear it. We spend money on objects, so we can’t part with them because it feels like we’re wasting money. For some people, having lots of stuff around brings a sense of security.
How do we accomplish letting go? Any kind of change can be scary. Having an understanding of why we’re wired the way we are helps us to accept and let go. Are you possessive of your stuff because it holds emotional or monetary value? Is it sentimental? Try looking at it from a different perspective. Perhaps donating or gifting sentimental objects to someone brings a sense of joy. The object you’re so fond of now has a new purpose. Perhaps it’s not emotional or sentimental for you at all. You just let things accumulate and now you need a lot of time to get caught up. Start slow. Chunk down the project into manageable mini projects. Don’t try to attack the entire garage. Start with one cabinet or shelf.
Ultimately the stress of all that clutter around you is worse than the stress of setting up a plan to de-clutter. Get rid of the stuff that no longer serves you. I know for me, walking into my office where my desk has an open workspace, and isn’t covered with piles of stuff, is comforting. My kitchen is the same. I can’t start cooking unless I “mise en place”, as we say in the kitchen, “everything in its place”.
What will you organize this spring? Will you start with one drawer? Cabinet? Closet? A whole room? I like to ask my clients to organize their nightstand. It’s a small area, not too overwhelming, and it brings you peace because it’s the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thing you see before you fall asleep. What’s on your nightstand? Can you declutter that space? Remove the electronics? Add a good book, a gratitude journal to write in before you sleep, or a small plant. Remove anything that doesn’t serve you in that space. Making improvements in one area will grow into other areas. Eventually you’ll see improvements everywhere. When you de-clutter, you de-stress, and we can all have a little less stress. Happy Clean Spring!
